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Same trap, new name

By Mark Madden
Beaver County Times
http://www.timesonline.com/sports/
June 11, 2012

NEWARK, NJ - JUNE 09: Dustin Penner #25, Jarret Stoll #28 and Jonathan Quick #32 of the Los Angeles Kings fight for position against Ilya Kovalchuk #17 and Adam Henrique #14 of the New Jersey Devils during Game Five of the 2012 NHL Stanley Cup Final at the Prudential Center on June 9, 2012 in Newark, New Jersey. (Photo by Bruce Bennett/Getty Images)

Mercifully, it’s almost over.

I’m a hockey lifer. But these Stanley Cup playoffs seem like a life sentence. They feature lots of grit, but zero glamour. Blocked shots and grinding: That’s the postseason’s sum and substance.
Predictably, every game in the Stanley Cup final has gone under: 2-1, 2-1, 4-0, 3-1, 2-1. It's a bookie's nightmare. Ours, too. Close isn’t the only ingredient for entertainment.
The Penguins and Philadelphia were castigated for first-round sloppiness. Turns out it was the only hockey worth watching this spring. Sloppiness equals goals. Goals equal excitement.

But not necessarily the goals in this final. Most of them are random shots that randomly carom in off somebody. Los Angeles defenseman Slava Voynov has deflected two into his own net. Practically speaking, he leads New Jersey in goals. Let’s save the own goals for soccer.

Nobody wants to see six guys play goal, sprawled in front of their own net like victims of a car bomb. Hockey has become too much of a coaches’ game.

Results might be all that matter. But did the top-seeded New York Rangers get the result they wanted when coach John Tortorella parked the team bus in front of their net?

The Rangers went so defensive, they shut down their own stars. Marian Gaborik and Brad Richards combined for one goal in six games as the Rangers lost to New Jersey in the Eastern Conference final. Not everyone is wired to play that way.

Tortorella has Henrik Lundqvist, hockey’s best goaltender. Why on earth would Tortorella emphasize shot-blocking to a detrimental degree?

Oh, right: To prove how smart he is. It didn’t work.

Playoff hockey this spring doesn’t pass the eye test. That’s convenient, because not many eyes have been watching.

Each of the Stanley Cup final’s first four games had television ratings lower than last year’s corresponding tilt. Game 1 was down 25 percent. It was the least-watched Stanley Cup final game since 2007. The NBA draft lottery did better. A Brazil-Mexico soccer friendly on Univision had 800,000 more viewers than Game 2. Game 2 was down 12 percent. Game 3, 37 percent. Game 4, 24 percent.

Why does hockey sabotage itself as consistently and thoroughly as it does? It’s going to get worse, too. The NHL is a copycat league. That’s bad news for the Penguins. You don’t need superstars to block shots. In fact, they often don’t want to (Sidney Crosby does).

The Penguins are catching on, though: Before coming to Pittsburgh, defenseman Zbynek Michalek rarely left his skates for any reason. But with the Penguins, policy dictates he do it all the time. Clog those passing lanes. Block those shots.

Michalek struggles, but coaching uber alles. Even if it turns a solid shutdown defenseman into a fish flopping aimlessly.

The blocked shot is the new trap. BOR-ING! BOR-ING! BOR-ING!

Ironically, those who turn a blind eye to hockey’s flaws espouse exactly what’s spoiling the game as what’s great about it. The things that turn the world’s fastest sport into sludge. Casual fans don’t appreciate grit and tenacity. They want to see that red light turned on.

NBC and its affiliated networks have to shoulder some blame for low playoff ratings, too. All season, we’re taught that superstars count, and Original Six counts. Only certain teams and players are worthy. They get all the national television time.

Los Angeles appeared just once on national network TV during the regular season. New Jersey, not at all. The Kings and Devils weren’t deemed sexy. Now, they’re in the final. Why should we care?

Mark Madden hosts a radio show 3-6 p.m. weekdays on WXDX-FM (105.9)